Vulnerability
by still-dreaming15
Summary: To turn your world upside down is a gamble of long odds but to lose it entirely is unthinkable? How do you deal with the consequences of something you didn't chose to create? How do you survive when you're the only one left? How do you fight the darkness?
1. Rescue

**A.N: This is a new story for me and, luckily, I have loads of chapters that want updating if people like it. I'm not going to force you to read it but it would be nice if you did and told me what you think. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything you remotely recognised it wouldn't be a fanfic, would it? I do have dibs on Danny on Sophie though.**

Sophie's POV

Chapter One: Rescue

We cruise through the streets of New York.

"New York was nicer when there were people in it," Danny tells me.

"I'm willing to bet it," I agree, darkly. "How long is it 'til sunset?"

Danny checks his watch vaguely. "About one or two hours."

"Great," I mutter. "One or two hours before we get eaten."

"Don't be so down-hearted."

"I'm being realistic. We don't know this territory, we have nowhere to go, and we don't know what could happen. For all we know, the freaking infected will dive on the windscreen, immune to the Sun, any second now and tear us to shreds. Who knows, maybe they even wear hoodies!"

Danny shakes his head with a sigh. "We'll be alright."

"I hope to God to you're right."

We pull up at one of the docks and get out of the car. We sit on one of the bollards and look out over the water. It's beautiful as the midday sun glints on a thousand shimmering diamonds. Danny puts a hand on my shoulder as comfort.

"Danny, I know you don't want to hear this but how do you know your brother is still out here? How do you know if he's still alive or not infected? How are we going to find him in this big city?" I say, softly. "You know I'm still with you on this and I will be for as long as we survive but… I don't want us to screw this up. Wouldn't it be awful if he was still out here and alive and all that and we got eaten before we could find him? We need to plan this carefully and I think that we should first find somewhere safe before we start cutting through this city for him."

"I guess you're right," he admits. "You know, I'm more nervous now we're here. I can sense he's still out there but I don't know what it'll be like. Two years… harsh. He could be anywhere. He could be alive, infected or dead. Of the last two, I don't know what's worse."

"Soph," Danny says, getting my attention. I can hear the sound of an engine going full-belt. A car pulls into the dock. It's a black SUV. A German Shepherd has its head out of the window. The brakes are applied and the car stops. A black man in a blue top and jean gets out, followed quickly by the dog. The gun in his hand and the expression on his face mean he has no idea what is going on. He has about as much clue as we do.

The dog bounds over and sniffs us thoroughly. We're too surprised to do anything about it except stand up. The man walks to within three feet from us and then stops. The dog barks before lying down, quietly. Apart from the noise of a few seagulls – who are probably infected – and some ambience (which makes me worry), there isn't a sound.

"Uh – hi." Danny is the first to break it.

"Hi," replies the man.

"Are we going to just going to speak in monosyllables?" I ask, tentatively.

"I'm Danny Phillips and this is Sophie Reed."

"I'm Robert Neville and this is my dog, Samantha. I just call her Sam."

There's a bit of silence again.

"Did you hear my message on the radio?" Robert asks.

"We haven't turned on the radio in years," I reply. "There haven't been any broadcasts since the radio died in 2009 so we didn't bother switching it on. We just stopped here randomly."

More silence. Eventually, Robert asks, "Where've you been?"

"We came from England. The country took in refugees from New York but one had picked it up, having brought infected clothes or something," Danny explains. "England got infected as did the rest of the world. It was an airborne virus, wasn't it? Everything and everyone died out and those creatures fed on them. We were the only survivors left in the city – there was another but they ate him."

Danny closes his eyes, remembering the day Caleb died. I decide to pick up his story.

"We knew we couldn't stay so we picked up what we could, having looked for survivors for a couple of months. We found none else. Danny told me about his brother – he was in New York when the infection hit with their parents – and we decided we'd come here to find out what had happened to him. We took a boat and tried navigating across the ocean. Unfortunately, it took us as long as it did to get here – we're terrible sailors – and we kept getting driven off course. Finally, we found ourselves, by some weird coincidence in here and we nicked a car to drive round. That's about us."

"You're telling me, you _sailed_ – two teenagers alone – here?" Robert asks, dazed.

"Yep," Danny replies. "A year an a half of sailing."

"Do either of you know how to sail?"

"We do now," I answer.

"And you're looking for your brother?"

"Yep," Danny answers.

"You're both crazy," Robert decides.

"I suppose that's what desperation does to you," I shrug. "It was better sailing – you could forget about what happened to the world when the sharks weren't attacking. I suppose it would have been wiser to hijack a plane but then we'd have to worry about fuel and not killing ourselves on landing and besides, we didn't like the idea of going into an infected airport again…"

Robert looks up at the sky. "Do you two have anywhere to go?"

"No, we just arrived," I reply.

"Well, come on. It'll be dark in a about an hour and it would be better to finish explaining indoors. You know how to drive, I guess?" Robert asks.

"She taught me," Danny says.

"Driving is easy."

"Okay then, follow me."

We drive through the centre of the city, having to speed to keep up with the SUV. Danny relishes the chance to drive like a maniac without me being able to say anything but I have to hold on to my seat by my fingernails. I wish to God, they would stop doing eighty mph around sharp turns. I wish to God, the infected imposed speeding restrictions! Why are there not speed bumps on every road? I suppose that it wouldn't be any good if we were being chased and there were speed bumps but I just need them to slow down!

We start to slow down shortly after and I almost sigh with relief. Eventually, Robert and Sam turn right into another residential street and pull up. There's a white, marble arch across the road and I think it would have been a really nice neighbourhood in the days before the infection. Robert and Sam get out so we follow.

"You'll want to mask your smell," Robert informs us. "Don't want them tracking us."

I share a worried glance with Danny.

"They can do that?" I ask, my throat tightening.

"Yeah," Robert replies. He passes Danny a large bottle of clear liquid and shows him how to spray it around. I'm feeling very nauseous that the infected are so smart. I think back to the days in England and how easily they might have picked up our scent and attacked us in the night all because we weren't careful enough. Maybe Caleb would be still around if we'd have been better prepared.

Robert's house is nice – very nice. Everything is the best money might have bought but it feels homely despite the quantity of guns hanging around. There are lots of pictures hanging on the walls – pictures of people. One of them is of Robert and a brown-haired, black woman and a little girl with plaits holding a German Shepherd puppy. I stop to look at it. They look really happy. Robert looks really happy.

"That was my family," Robert says. I jump, caught off guard. Robert smiles a little before standing next to me, looking at the picture too. "We were in Colorado on vacation in 2007. That was my wife, Zoe and my daughter, Marley." Sam wanders around his ankles before giving a little whine. "And of course, Sam."

"What – no, that's rude. Sorry," I mutter.

"No, go on," he prompts.

"I was going to ask what happened to them but you might not want to talk about it…"

Robert takes a deep breath in. "They died when the infection hit. They were being evacuated and some of the infected attacked a helicopter as theirs was taking off. The helicopter spun out of control and they both collided. All that was left was ash."

"God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine," he says, softly. "They died so quickly that I don't think they would have known."

"Do you miss them?"

"Everyday."

Robert walks out of the Hall then and goes into another room. I follow him, feeling incredibly embarrassed that I asked him such an awkward question. It's the living room and Danny is looking around, admiring the shutters for the windows.

"Are you two hungry?" Robert asks.

"Yeah," Danny replies. Trust Danny to think more about food than manners. Typical.

"We got some Bacon, we got some egg and potato and stuff. What do you want?"

"Whatever, we're not fussed," I reply, quicker than Danny can tell him about my aversion to food.

I feel even more awkward over dinner. The only sounds are those of forks and knives clinking and scraping the plates. For Bacon – a food I wouldn't have touched with a bargepole if that – it's very good! I eat every scrap whilst Danny stares at me like I just got infected. Robert notices but he just looks amused. I don't ask. Only when every scrap is gone from everyone's plate does Danny dare to ask what's been nagging him.

"Uh, Soph? You hate food."

I shrug. "So?"

"Did you forget or are you infected with a new and deadly virus called the 'becomes normal infection'?"

"I'm hungry," I reply nonchalantly.

"But you'd rather starve."

"Bacon is nicer than I thought – it beats fish, fish and more fish."

Danny shakes his head and looks to the ceiling for guidance whilst Robert covers his mouth with a napkin.

I offer to take the plates and help Danny wash up. Robert agrees because he needs to go downstairs.

"Out of curiosity, what's 'downstairs'?" Danny asks.

Robert pauses to look up. "I'm a scientist. I'm working for a cure to KV – my lab's downstairs. Will you look after Sam whilst I'm gone?"

"Sure," I reply. Sam barks appreciatively. Not for the first time, I have a feeling that this dog is more understanding than she lets on. I tickle her head and she looks happy. I like Sam.

"Soph, what do you think?" Danny asks.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think of this happening?"

"I'll let you know in the morning if we haven't been eaten."

"I don't think we will."

"We have no idea what'll happen."

"Robert's survived out here, why can't we?"

"Because we're not Robert?"

"Yeah but he could teach us how to survive."

"Let's take it one step at a time. First, clearing dinner. Second, lasting the night. Three, learning how to survive in the day. Four, I have no idea."

"You know, Soph, you really know how to bring a guy down!"

"I don't know how you can stand me," I reply, dryly.

He chuckles. "You know I'd be lost without you Soph but I just wish you'd lighten up a little. Is it too much to ask?"

We finish the dishes before Robert gets back so we sit back down at the table so we can talk again.

"Do you think Joe's out here, still?" I ask Danny.

"You keep asking me that and the answer's still the same. I think he's out here but I don't know how he is. I hope he's alive."

"What will we do when we find out what happened to him – if we do?"

"I dunno," he sighs, leaning back. "Survive I guess."

"There's no point in living if your existence is solely to survive," I reply, bitterly.

Danny gets up to hug me.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "I don't mean to be so down all the time. I can't help it."

My best friend rocks me slightly and I laugh.

"Yeah but that's why you have me!" he says. "To cheer you up! Honestly, I think that you'd have topped yourself if I wasn't keeping you going!"

"Thanks for keeping me alive solely to survive," I reply. He laughs and pulls away.

Danny pauses in mid-air again. I don't know why he does it but sometimes he does and he stares at me intently. This time the fading sun catches his skin making it glow with a golden hue. He stops staring and goes back to normal, coughing to hide his embarrassment. I wish I understood why he does that. Fortunately, Robert arrives at just the right moment although when he opens the door, it makes us both grab guns and direct them at him.

"Sorry, I'm not used to having guests."

We relax but my heart beats so hard and fast I feel like it's about to jump out of my chest. Sam runs up to Robert and he tickles her affectionately. They have a really deep bond: each depending on the other for sanity, for safety, for shelter and for survival. Just sensing it makes my spine tingle.

It's an hour until sunset but Robert says that the shutters need to go down in half an hour.

"Until then we can make the most of the sunlight," he tells us. "Make yourselves at home."

We all end up sitting in the living room in the end and we just chat. Robert is quite easy to talk to when Danny's there but I wouldn't know what to say if I were alone with him. We talk about what New York is like as though the infection never hit. We tell him about England as we used to know it, not the shell and horror it was when we left. Robert grins and Sam looks very happy on the sofa too.

Everything changes with the sound of Robert's watch beeping. Immediately, he gets up and closes the shields (for want of a better word) on the windows. It suddenly gets darker and I feel very vulnerable. Danny reaches out to take my hand but it doesn't stop my breathing getting very ragged.

"Are you alright?" Robert asks me.

"I hate the dark," I whisper. "I hate making it dark. I hate night."

"She'll be okay soon enough," Danny tells him. "She'll fall asleep eventually."

"Come with me; there's a spare room upstairs where you can sleep."

In the darkness, Robert takes us up to a spare room. I feel worse here. I'm not familiar with any of my surroundings and the panic is taking over. Danny hugs me, stroking my hair. He sits me down on the end of the bed. I'm shaking a lot.

"Are you two sure you're going to be alright?" Robert asks sceptically.

Danny nods and he leaves as they agreed. It's just me and Danny now.

I can hear the howls and screams from even here. In the darkness, with nothing but the sound of my breathing and the warmth of Danny as he holds me close and tries to comfort me, it feels too close as if there are infected in this very room, beneath my bed. I keep as still as I possibly can, clutching hold of Danny like he's a life raft and I'm drifting out to sea. He gently rocks me. I don't deserve Danny at all. By rights, I should be being digested by a particularly bad infected creature-thing not with Danny. All through the night, he stays with me and even as I sleep, I can feel him there with me. Why does he care so much? I fall asleep as usual in the early hours of the morning and he's still right beside me.

Robert finds us in the morning and wakes us up. Sam licks my face as the light from outside illuminates the room. Danny hugs me all the tighter and the everyday feeling of immense relief after the nightly terror washes over me.

"Are you guys okay?" Robert asks again.

I nod shakily.

"We're fine," Danny agrees.

Once again, the fear fades as the light takes over.

**If you're feeling really nice (or not), could you press the purply tab below? Please? **


	2. The Washington Hotel

**A.N: I suddenly realised that stories won't show up for 24 hours unless it gets updated so, because I'm impatient. Here's chapter two. Hopefully you can see it now and then tell me what you think. Please?**

**Disclaimer: I'm happy to just own Sophie, Danny and, soon enough, Joe. **

Danny's POV

Chapter Two: The Washington Hotel

I hate when Sophie gets scared. When we first met, she crawled into a ball, her back against a wall and shook the night away. I tried to comfort her by talking but she hissed at me that she needed silence. At first, I couldn't understand it; she'd fight the infected face to face if she had to and I had seen her do it. Eventually I asked her to explain.

"It's not the infected I'm scared of," she admitted. "It's being helpless, feeling vulnerable and claustrophobic. I'm scared that they'll come out of the unknown and kill me. I'd be useless to stop them."

I think I vowed to protect her silently at that moment and I knew I'd never leave her to them no matter what.

"I found some clothes for you both if you want them – yours look worse for wear," Robert says. Sophie takes hers numbly and heads for the bathroom. We leave to give her some privacy.

"Hey, Robert," I call him back as he starts to head downstairs. He pauses and looks back.

"Thanks. For looking after us like this."

He smiles. "No problem."

I get changed faster than Sophie and join Robert downstairs. He's examining a map with pen marks across it.

"How is she?"

"Sophie will be alright now," I tell him.

"What was wrong?"

"She's just terrified. When we first met, she told me her parents and her were hiding in their cellar. It was really dark down there but the infected broke in. Because of the damp and leaking water – she said they never did get round to fixing it – they didn't find them but by dawn, the cellar was infested with infected squatters, sleeping even in the same room. She told me she spent two days in the dark down there with them, not knowing if she was going to survive or not, terrified that they'd hear her breathing. On the third day, they decided to try and escape before they starved to death. They made their way out, Sophie as their only daughter going first. She nearly made it out when her father fell and the noise woke the infected. Almost instantly, they attacked and killed him. Sophie made it to the surface and into the sunlight but her mother didn't. They killed before pulling her back into the darkness."

Robert shakes his head. "You didn't have to tell me all that."

"I just thought you'd want an explanation about why she felt so insecure all of a sudden."

"The experience must've shaken her, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What you did for her… you must have really been through a lot together."

"We're dependent on each other, I suppose. I help her get through the fear at night and she keeps me going through the day."

"I could tell."

"You and Sam depend on each other in the same sort of way, though?"

"Yeah," he replies before tickling his faithful companion's head. "We do."

"So," Robert asks suddenly. "Do you want to stay in today or go out?"

I blink. "I've spent so long on the boat, I have no idea anymore."

"Didn't you say something about looking for your brother or something earlier?" Robert asks. I'm surprised he remembered.

"Yeah, do you know where the Washington Hotel is?" I ask. "That's where my brother was last. He was staying with my parents for a spelling competition."

"I know where that is," he replies. "So you want to look for him?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think he's still alive – or your parents, Danny," he tells me, soberly.

"I know," I whisper. "But he was always there for me. I need to know what happened to him."

Sophie comes down later, fully dressed. Sunlight shines through the door and catches in her golden hair. The navy-blue top and jeans that Robert gave her, really suit her. She looks breathtaking. As she steps into the room, Sam greets her and a small smile lights up her features. I have to drag my eyes away before she looks up. Of course, Robert notices the flush in my cheeks and smiles mischievously but he doesn't say anything about it.

"What would you like to do today?" Robert asks Sophie. She looks a little off-put as if she wasn't expecting the question.

"Uh, whatever you guys were planning?" she suggests. I like that about Sophie – the way she puts anyone else's plans before her own and gets dazed when she's caught off-guard.

"Danny wants to go to the Washington Hotel," Robert replies. "And there are a few other things I need to show you. Anything else you want to do in particular?"

"No."

"Alright, then," he claps his hands. "We'll leave in half an hour; once you've had your breakfast. Once again, you'll have to excuse me – science waits for nobody."

Sophie smirks and sits down to eat with me.

I can tell Sophie is thinking hard by the way she twirls her fork in mid-air. I'm pretty sure that she isn't actually seeing the painting that she appears to be staring at too. I don't disturb her – she gets frustrated if I do that. The toast and egg is delicious but breakfast passes in silence until Robert returns.

"Hey," he says. Suddenly, Sophie looks up at him, drawn out of her thoughts.

"How is it going?" she enquires.

He sighs. "Same as always. If it works on rats, it doesn't work on infected humans."

"How would you know that?" I ask, sharply, before Sophie can.

"There's one in the cellar? But don't worry, it's heavily sedated and locked up. I wouldn't even have one if I didn't think it 100 safe," he tells us. "Now, are you ready to hit the streets of New York?"

We speed through the streets of New York, heading north. I sit in the front so I can read the map for Robert. Every so often, I glance in the mirror and see Sam's head on Sophie's lap. She is looking at the landscape, learning to recognise which way she's going. I smile before Robert catches my eye and I bury my hot face in the map. Robert chuckles to himself and turns on the radio. A reggae tune starts up and I feel myself nodding to the beat. Some man starts to sing and Robert murmurs the words too. I start to grin.

"You like Bob Marley?" Sophie asks.

"Yeah," Robert tells her.

"Cool."

We pull up outside of the Washington Hotel. A green banner has its name on so I see it instantly. The building is dark but there doesn't look to be any infected inside. Then again, it could be crawling with them. Sophie leans over my seat so her head is nearly leaning on my shoulder. I can smell her skin, scented with some soap, she must've found. I nearly moan aloud. For nearly a year, I've known I'm in love with Sophie but I hate that I can't do a damn thing about it thanks to the infection. My palms start to sweat but no-one notices thankfully.

"The Washington Hotel, huh?" she asks. "I would ask if you're sure about this, Danny, but I think you are because it's all you've been sure about since I met you. However, you could prove me wrong."

"No, I'm good. Who's going in?"

"I'm not missing out on this," Sophie tells me, determined. "We've been getting here for two years – there's no way in hell that I'm backing out now."

"And I'm not leaving you two alone."

"You don't have to come with us Robert," I offer him. "We've got guns and if something happens, you'd be in danger…"

"Listen," he interrupts, his voice full of authority. "I am a trained soldier, a scientist and a survivor, okay? I live my life, dealing with the infected. I am going in with you."

"Thanks," Sophie mutters.

"I can hardly leave two young adults alone in an empty hotel, can I? Who knows what you might get up to?"

"Ha ha, very funny," I remark sarcastically. Sophie just laughs.

The entrance to the Washington is no problem. The light from the windows illuminates the marble floors without casting shadows. Robert ordered us that he goes in first with Sam, Sophie next and me covering the back. Sophie wasn't very happy about the arrangement but she didn't say anything because Robert was only looking for the best option possible and Sophie, when tested, has really good sense for movement out of the corners of her eyes. She told me it came from being stalked when she went shopping. I wasn't really surprised because I might've turned to being one of them if this was the old world.

"What room was he staying in?" Sophie asks.

"Room 145," I reply. I memorised all the information I could before we left England so that when we got here, I wouldn't have to think twice. Sophie goes behind the counter and takes the appropriate key whilst we cover her. She also steals a couple of other keys; the one for the staircase and the one for the back door.

We make our way upstairs, treading carefully. It's incredibly dark in the corridors and I can sense Sophie's fear building. She keeps a handle on it though and says nothing. The only light is from Robert's gun and he keeps shuttering it. I can sense his apprehension too. At some points, the wide corridor narrows and sometimes, it widens again. This would have been a very nice place if it weren't for the dark-fear-abandonment vibe.

Fortunately, we encounter nothing and no-one on the way to the room. We make it to Room 145 with no trouble at all. Inside, light filters through the poor black-out curtains. Robert rips them down and tells Sam how great she was. Sophie hugs me too, in relief, which makes me feel a lot better on the whole. We shut the door and feel safer because any infected would burn in the daylight. I hope that this hotel isn't infected.

We stand in the middle of the living room. It's big, expensive and deluxe. Joe sure was living it up before the infection hit. I'm glad he had a comfortable room. Mum and Dad, I don't care about. They left him alone, trying to save their own skins. I couldn't care less what happened to them. I hope they got eaten by a particularly old and frail infected, and that it didn't manage to kill them straight out because it was so weak. I hope they got eaten alive.

Sophie heads towards a door in the corner and she and Robert open it. It's an empty bathroom. She sighs in relief. Sam sniffs around her, happily. I almost smile but the realisation of where we are and what's happening prevents me. There's a kitchen in the corner and a fancy dining table with dead flowers in a vase. Sunlight reflects the dust on the counter but I can see how sparkly-clean everything was.

To my left, there are two doors. I head for the first. This has to be a bedroom; either Joe's or my parents'. My hands are shaking. The other two step up beside me. Robert aims his gun for the door in case something unwanted is lurking inside. Sophie puts a hand on my shoulder to show support and points her gun too. Slowly, I open the door.

Nothing is inside to half my relief. This must've been my parents' room – there are their passports on the bedside table. They fled very quickly, taking off like kicked dogs. Clothes lay strewn on the floor because of quick packing. They took the necessities and got out. I shake my head and Sophie hugs me again.

"Your parents' room?" she guesses. "Look on the bright side; at least we know where he is now."

I hug her back.

"Are you ready for this?" she asks. "Or do you want us to look for you, first?"

"No," I reply, numbly. "I owe it to him."

"Alright."

Sophie opens the door this time with us backing her because my hands are too shaky. There aren't any of the infected within and the whole room is lit from the big window. There's a skeleton on the bed behind quarantine curtains. Sophie covers her mouth and Robert leaves to give me some privacy.

"Come on, Sam," he says.

I feel very numb as I walk up to the bed and push away the white material, Sophie two steps behind me. I sit beside the skeleton. It's wearing the chain necklace I bought for Joe on his last birthday. It's my brother – or the remains of him. He died of the infection. There's a phone by his pillow and he's holding it. He'd called me with it, to tell me what was happening. He must've known he was dying at some point but he didn't tell me. Maybe he was going to but it was too late for him to even pick up the phone. Did he know he was dying when he called? Probably not – he would have wanted me to stay in England rather than look for him so he would have told me. He didn't think of it as serious, he had said. He was too busy joking about the spelling competition.

I cry silently as Sophie wraps her arms around me. Why didn't I go with him? Why wasn't I there, holding his hand when no-one else was? Why did I let him die alone? I know why; my stupid parents didn't want to have to pay for any more tickets than absolutely necessary. They didn't want me tagging along. Did he call out for me? Did he think about me as he lay there? Did he die hearing the screams of the city around him? Was it a quiet, peaceful death? Did he care that he'd been abandoned by his parents? He never told me, but he might have. Was he scared at night, unable to do anything? I don't know the answers to so much and I crave knowing. I want to know what happened to him, more than the outcome.

"Danny, look," Sophie whispers. She leans over, across the bones and picks up something. "It's for you."

She puts a yellowed letter in my hand. On the front, is my name scrawled in ink. He left me this. Slowly, I tear it open.

_To my big brother, Danny Phillips,_

_If you survive this infection, I know you'll come here. You'll find me, Danny, I know it. As you know by now, I'm long dead. Don't worry. _

_The infected haven't come for me yet but it's only a matter of time, I think. It shouldn't matter – I'll be dead by sunset. I can hear them screaming all around but I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter._

_I'm alone. As you know, Mum and Dad have left. I don't care about them either. They can do as they please and I forgive them. They knew there is no hope for me so I can't blame them. Please forgive them, Danny. They were only doing what they could. I don't know what happened to them; they just left when I was asleep. Mum left me a note. It's under my pillow if you want it – the other one. I made sure you could get it if you want it._

_Danny, I know you. You'll blame yourself for this. Don't. This wasn't your fault. I'm glad you were in England and not here. I don't think I could have died if you were with me and if this had gone badly and I turned into one of _them,_ I would have hated that I'd turn on you first. I hope you live a great life. Hey, you'll have to say 'hi' to Natalie and tell her that I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world. I wish I'd have been brave enough to ask her out._

_The light's fading so I'll have to wrap this up. Danny you've been the best brother in the world and there's so much I want to tell you but I don't have time – both the Sun and I are failing fast. I want to call you but the line is down because of the panic. It's peaceful – like nothing can hurt me because of the numbness. I'm probably being naïve. It feels like you're almost with me and perhaps you are. I miss you._

_Keep smiling and don't mourn, Danny – the world's already done enough for you. Be yourself and if you ever see that girl you were going on about, go for it. Be happy – you deserve it._

_Love Joe._

_x.x.x.x.x_

I'm crying so hard I can barely read the words by the end of and I end up falling into Sophie's arms – something I would normally be embarrassed or very happy about. She hugs me tightly like I do when she's on the other end. It's comforting to know she's there for me but it won't bring Joe back. Then again, nothing will. So why am I crying? He asked me not to. I try to force myself to stop crying and after a long time I do but only because Robert comes in and I don't want to feel weak in front of him.

"We need to be leaving soon," he says. Sophie nods and pulls me to my feet.

"Come on, Danny."

I let her lead me out of the room, pausing only to take one last look at my brother. There's no way I could take his bones out or that I could come back to see him so I know this is the last time we'll meet. I would have liked to bury him but that isn't possible.

"Sophie, wait," I say. I return to my brother and take Mum's letter from under his pillow and the bracelet my aunt got him when he was little. Now I have something from both of them. I also touch my brother's skull. "I'll always be with you and you'll always be with me," I murmur. Then I turn away for the last time.


	3. Heading Out

Chapter Three: Heading Out

Sophie

Danny returns with his red eyes and I share an understanding look with Robert. It's getting towards noon and I think there's something he wants to do. I hope Danny's going to be okay.

"There's no need to go through the middle of the building again because we can just use the fire-escape," Robert informs us. He tickles Sam's head again as we prepare for the outside world. He's picked up a small bag of tinned food and supplies too. "Ready, Danny?"

"Yeah," he murmurs. He smiles weakly at me. "At least now I know, right?"

I nod half-heartedly. Danny's always so strong and brave. I don't like seeing him crumble. It makes me feel uncertain and I want to make things better. Too bad I don't have the ability to bring the dead back to life.

Just as we're preparing to leave, Sam begins to growl. Robert grits his teeth and ushers us down the fire-escape.

"Leave it, Sam," he hisses. I can hear scratching and howls from infected above and I'm in no mood to hang around. I make Danny go ahead of me so I know he's alright. Sam races down, not waiting for us except by the car. Robert follows us, closing the door after us. I breathe a sigh of relief when we're on the road again. This time round Danny sits in the back with me. Not a word is said on the way to the dock.

Once out, I sit with Robert whilst Danny has some time alone. The next few weeks are going to be especially hard on him. Robert throws the ball for Sam on the dock, set up in case any more survivors show. I don't think they will but I say nothing. I suppose it's all about hope.

"So his brother is dead?" he asks me.

"Yeah."

"Rough."

"It will get better if we help."

"You're right about that. They used to say time was a great healer but it's not. The healing comes from learning to cope with help from your friends. Only with that in time, does it ever get better."

"How did you cope?"

"Sam. Survival. Human Instinct for thriving. The goal of finding a cure. You?"

"Danny, survival and the goal of helping him find out what happened to Joe. Now, I guess it'll be survival – there's no goal anymore."

"How much do you know about Science and Medicine?"

"As much as a sixteen year old with a weird obsession with medicine encyclopaedias and a dream of being a doctor, can have?"

He smirks. "What about helping me to find a cure?"

"What's brought this on?" I ask him.

"Today has got me thinking – what if something happened to me? Who would do what I do; taking care of Sam, trying to find a cure, looking for a way to help humanity back again? I couldn't teach you everything I know, yet, but extra hands and thoughts could help. You don't have to but it's another option you might consider."

"Yeah, I'm in," I reply. "I'd like to do that."

"Alright. We'll see what Danny thinks later."

No-one shows up at the dock so we head back to Robert's house. The days aren't packed as they were before. Once inside, Danny seems to shrink into a corner. Under Robert's recommendation, we leave him alone for a while. I'm worried about Danny. I know he's entitled to grieve for as long as necessary but it's dangerous if he's not going to stay two steps ahead of the game. We're living in a hard world and we need to be aware of everything that's going on. What if something happens to him because he's not 100 there?

"Hey, Robert?" I confront the only real adult in this house. In the short time we've been acquainted, I already respect Robert and we get along better than I thought originally. If the infection had never hit but we still knew each other, I'd trust him more than most other people I was friends with.

"Yes?"

"How long until sundown?"

He checks his watch. "Four hours and thirty-eight minutes."

"Really?"

"Thirty-seven now."

"Thanks. Is it okay if I drag Danny outside for a little while for a drive? We won't even go into any shadows and we won't go very far..."

"I suppose so but take Sam with you – she'll let you know if there's anything about. It would be better if you wouldn't mind, going later after dinner because I might need your help before then."

"Okay, thanks Robert."


	4. Confession

Chapter Four: Confession

Danny

I feel so guilty. He had thought about me until the end and I couldn't even give him a decent send off or anything. The whole thing reeks of guilt and 'should have…'s. I fondle his bracelet. It's gold and silver with copper alloy and he loved it from the minute he opened the paper as a two-year old. Naturally, it had to be re-fitted several times to my mother's dismay but it was a good idea.

The thing that makes me feel guiltier is that half of me is still thinking about Sophie all of the time. I know that Joe would have wanted me to be happy but I can't help it. Torn between the two is a dark hole and I'm stuck in it. I get an idea of Joe's face laughing with delight at this idea which sounds about right. He would have laughed and told me to make the most of it because one day she's going to realise how ridiculous I really am and will scramble out of it. Why am I so happy about all this, thinking happier thoughts? It's wrong!

"Danny?" Robert asks. He's sat across from me on the other sofa.

"Yeah?" I mutter as a reply. "What?"

I don't need to look up to guess that Robert is frowning at me.

"What's really the matter?"

I snort but I can feel the frown getting deeper.

"Sophie and Joe."

"Wow, you got some serious thinking to do," he replies, lighter now that he knows I'm open. "You know, if you told me what about Sophie and Joe was bugging you, I might be able to help you…"

"You just really want to know, don't you?"

"Well, it's a bit strange when two young people come into your life out of pure dumb luck and then one of them is so down, they might as well be in Australia."

"Yeah, right."

"Obviously, you can't see yourself."

Once again, I cave under the frown. His dismaying eyebrows seem to push down all resistance - with Nazi effectiveness from military discipline.

"Alright!" I sigh. "Alright!"

His face becomes passive. I don't know why we treat each other like we've known them longer than a day and a half. Maybe it's because we've been alone. Maybe it's need.

It's difficult for me to tell him what I feel. How do I express how I feel about Sophie in words he can understand? How can I explain the anguish tearing my insides apart from the death of my brother? How can I tell him about the guilt that as much as I want Joe back, I want Sophie more? That Sophie means more than my brother?

"I love her," I admit. "More than any other."

Robert smiles knowingly but I continue.

"My brother's dead but that isn't the worst part. It's knowing that without him, life is hard but without Sophie, life does not exist. It's knowing that fact that makes me feel so guilty. I wouldn't be alive without her. But I can't do anything about it. I couldn't tell her. The world isn't so simple anymore and if she didn't feel the same… It's a better life, hiding it."

Robert muses on what I've said for a little while.

"But what have you got to lose?" he enquires.

I snort as my reply.

"You couldn't lose her – to do that she'd have to leave and face life on her own. That isn't really an option. Besides, don't you owe it to the both of you to be honest about how you feel?"

I refuse to look at him.

"Sleep on it – it's not like we have no time. Are you going to help me do the shutters or would you prefer to go and see Sophie to tell her…?"

"I'll help," I reply quickly.

As soon as all the shutters are down, Robert hands me a torch. It's dim light allows me to see my way to Sophie's room (Robert helped her do that one). I knock once and then poke my head around the door. At first I think something's wrong; it's very quiet and she's just lay on her bed, very still and silent. There's one small light on in the corner. I quietly walk around so I can see her face. She's calm and smiling. She's asleep? I blink three times in succession. For the first time, I see Sophie asleep with no worries. I shut off the light and slip into the second bed, dazed but happy. Sophie isn't worried. I quickly fall asleep, before even the howls start, feeling like I used to for once.


	5. Knowing

Chapter Five: Knowing

Sophie

Robert wakes us up in the morning. For the first time in my life, I panic as I wake. Danny isn't next to me. I look wildly around the room before I see him, asleep in the other bed. I frown, confused. I don't remember falling asleep with the suffocating fear. Did I sleep happily last night? Oh my God! A first!

Robert nudges Danny and he opens his eyes, sitting bolt upright. I almost laugh as their heads collide and both then repeatedly whimper about it. I don't when Danny shoots me a dirty look. It doesn't stop me from wanting to and I have to dive for the bathroom before I burst into giggles.

Robert left me some clothes again. I have to admit, he has very good taste – so good, he could be gay because as every girl knows, the only men who know how to dress are those that you can't have. Today, it's a black top with one sleeve and one strap and red flowers embroidered in the bottom right corner. The black jeans go well with it too. Maybe the fact that he's been left alone for a long time is the explanation for his lack of normal traits found in men. However, if he wears pink and starts saying "Oh my God!" in that high voice, I'll know.

I put half of my hair up today and leave the ribbon off. I don't look too bad.

_Good enough for Danny?_

The annoying voice at the back of my head decides to input that one. I quickly drop it. I am not going to have another debate on 'friend-or-more'. Where's Jerry Springer when you need him? "Hi, Jerry, I have a problem. The world is dead and I don't care because I'm more interested in my friend who I've known for two years and I think I like more than like and yet can't even consider it. He's a little weird but I don't mind. I am insane or is it just a product of the fear that I get strangled with?"

Yeah, that'd be a great show.

Still questioning myself, I go downstairs and almost run into Robert. Muttering my apologies, I go into the living room. Breakfast is on the table and Danny is tucking in, his expression miserable. He shifts around the egg on his plate with the toast. I sit down next to him and study his face.

"Why aren't you eating?" I ask quietly. He looks up and sighs heavily. His hands are shaking on the table. He puts down his fork, giving it up.

"It's just so… so wrong!" he whispers. I click my tongue at him.

"Going against nature is wrong?" I tease.

"I don't feel like eating."

"But you can't let your food go to waste."

He sighs.

I pick up his fork and spike a piece of egg. He doesn't react to me dancing it in front of his face.

"Why don't you feel like eating?" I ask again. He mutters something about his throat and not feeling hungry. He's so lying.

"So you're not even hungry for this? Lovely powdered egg?" I tease him, playfully. I dance the egg on his mouth and he looks like he's going to smile.

"Eat it!" I encourage. "Eat it! Eat it!"

He laughs then and like a shot I slip the fork in. His laughter turns to amusement and in his brief pause he swallows it. I smirk triumphantly.

"What were you saying about not eating?" I ask innocently.

I end up feeding Danny all of his breakfast and he looks better for it. As the last scrap of food goes into his mouth, he looks down at his plate.

"All gone!" I cheer, grinning.

"Thanks," he smiles, shyly.

"No problem! Better to see you smiling than sighing."

He looks down and away before saying in a strange voice, "What are we going to do today?"


	6. Toeing the Line

Chapter Six: Toeing the Line

Danny

Bob Marley starts up as we cruise through the streets. Sam and I are sat in the back whilst Sophie and Robert are in the front. Both of them are singing along to 'Three Little Birds' without a care in the world. Sam is sat up straight as I tickle her head and she looks like she's enjoying the music too. I feel a little better thanks to Sophie. I say a little prayer of thanks to God (just in case he's still there) because of all the people he could have chosen to spare and spur me on this journey, he had to pick the most beautiful, amazing and funny girl out there.

We're driving towards the South Street Sea Port. Thanks to Robert and his idea to train Sophie up as a scientist was a good one but it took all morning. I sat around and played with Sam, having no interest in Science. I always hated school – never was any good at it – but Science was the worst of all. The only thing interesting was when we got to dissect part of a frog – it livened things up – but even that was absolutely disgusting.

First of all, Robert had shown us what he was doing. I flinched when he pulled back the sheets to reveal 20 cages of infected rats which were either dead or attacking the glass front. Sophie had screamed and I don't blame them. They were even more disgusting than that frog.

"Bob Marley rocks," declares Sophie as the song dies. I don't argue, my taste in music having waned. "What…?"

She pauses, her face quickly drains of colour. Robert glances at her and Sam barks.

"What?" he asks, urgently. "What is it?"

"Drive," she replies, her voice uneven. "Drive fast."

He presses down on the accelerator and we lurch forwards. Looking back, I catch sight of something being thrown out of a window and onto the pavement, bouncing twice. I begin to sweat.

We pull up at the dock, still shaken from our little encounter.

"I think it's time I give you guys some extra lessons in self-defence," Robert sighs as we climb out of the SUV.

What good will martial arts do when one of those things are running at you? As if in reply, Robert produces two extra pistols from the back of his car. He offers one to both of us.

He teaches us how to shoot long-range, accuracy and how to reload quickly. It's all familiar to me, having had to learn on the road. I wish to God he'd been able to teach us sooner. An all too unwanted memory about Caleb comes back. Judging from the look on Sophie's face, she's thinking exactly the same thing.

"Is something wrong?" Robert asks. Sophie sits, sinking down by the car. We crouch next to her and I put my arms around her.

"God Soph," I mutter. "Don't get down on us too."

She sniffles and to my horror, wipes a shiny tear from her face. I thumb away another before she has to. Her eyes are full of the memory of Caleb. My fingers tingle as I stroke her cheeks but eventually, she tries to smile.

"Soph," I tell her, softly. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have saved him."

Robert's face is full of confusion so Sophie wipes her face and sits up.

"It was my fault," she disagrees, her voice unsteady. "It was. If I hadn't…"

"You don't have to talk about it," I whisper.

"I need to." Those words stop any and all protests left in me.

"Caleb was only little," she whispers. "He was three – we found him clutching his mother's dead body when we were scavenging – and he didn't understand anything. He kept asking us why there were monsters and why nobody would wake. His dad was also dead along with a baby girl in the cot next to them. They'd all been dead for a couple of days and he'd had to live off crisps and things.

"We took him with us and at first he didn't like it. We didn't give him a choice – we couldn't have left him," she says. I hold her hand, forgetting all about my misery. "We had to take him with us everywhere we went… it was too dangerous either way. I think he liked it a little, going into houses and finding things. We told him it was a game and that if he won, it'd be magic. Poor kid believed us. Then one day, we went into a house that wasn't empty. We walked straight into an infected man. Danny stabbed at him (the only weapons we had were knives and one revolver) but he just shook it off. We ran for the door and the sun but Caleb wasn't quick enough. His feet were swept from under him. I can still hear his screams as I shot back in the house. I got it but he'd been torn open. He died in our arms."

Sophie's sobs make me feel awful. I put my arms around her and let her sob into my chest. I glance at Robert. How is it that you can't take pain away? I want to make her see sense – it wasn't her fault that Caleb died. She can't take responsibility for things out of her control. Why can't I just make the hurt go away by wrapping my arms around her? Why doesn't it work like that?

Sam barks, growling on her feet. We squint into the sun and my eyes are drawn to some shadows. There, an infected person is growling. Robert doesn't think twice before shooting it and ushering us to the car. I don't argue – perhaps it is time to leave. Once again, we're forced onwards, toeing the line between safety and danger.


End file.
